Did you know that January is often called “Divorce Month?” Not only is it a fresh start on a new year or chapter, but it’s also the time that many people have decided to cut out things in their life that are toxic, unhealthy, or not serving them and invest in a new and healthier self. Call it a ‘new year’s resolution,’ a new ‘new chapter,’ or a great time to start new. It’s a new beginning, and divorce filings go through the roof!
If you or someone you know have found yourself in a group of people who have decided to file for divorce or separate from your partner, there are smart ways to do it to protect yourself and your assets down the road. So, what comes first? Keep reading for a roadmap for how to file for divorce and protect yourself all in one.
Gather your Resources
The further in advance you can plan, the better! It is of utmost importance to connect with a local support team to support and guide you through your divorce and all that comes with it. The “divorce team” looks different for everyone, but here are the people you should look for to be on your team.
Seek emotional support.
Find a therapist to confide in and help to process the many things you will need to process through the closing of this chapter. Finding someone you connect with and feel comfortable with is important. It’s normal to meet with several therapists before finding the right one. Take your time.
Get organized.
Know what you have and know where it is! Get all your documents in order before you file. This includes, but is not limited to, bank account statements, retirement account information and statements, any asset information and statements, and liability accounts. Make sure you know where all the documents are and organize them. Ensure you have login information if the accounts are online. Familiarize yourself with the current information and be prepared to have the history of each account available.
Own Real Estate? Determine your worth.
Reach out to a Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist to support your real estate needs during this chapter. Be sure to ask around and find a divorce expert. Real estate is one thing, but handling all that goes along with handling your real estate during a divorce is a completely different ballpark. Work with your agent to get a Cost Market Analysis (CMA) of your home, an appraisal, or an opinion of value. If you can, always choose a CMA. It’s the most accurate and reliable information to have when you need to present it to the courts during your divorce.
Determine Your Credit Worthiness.
Meet with a lender before you file for divorce. I can’t stress this enough. Determining what you can afford ahead of the divorce will help you and your attorney take the right approach to the final settlement. They will help you determine what you can afford, whether to refinance and keep the home or buy another on your own and what your options are. Talking to a lender that specializes in divorce real estate is imperative. They will be familiar with divorce strategies to help you post-divorce that other lenders will not be able to.
Find the Right Divorce Attorney for You
Don’t google “divorce attorney” and settle on the first one you find. Interview a few different divorce attorneys to find the right attorney for you. Here are a few questions to consider when hiring your attorney:
- Do you have similar communication styles?
- Do you trust this person?
- And can you afford them?
These three questions should help you to determine if the attorney is a good fit for you. It can also be helpful to read reviews about the attornies to better understand who they are, what they represent, and their style for approaching similar cases.
Talk to a Financial Advisor
If you don’t have a financial advisor yet, follow the advice above and hire one. You’ll want to talk to your financial advisor about financial modeling. You can talk with them about consulting with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) if they are not one. You’ll want to look at your future after the divorce is final and you are operating on one income instead of two. You’ll want to evaluate what will affect your current obligations and do you need to make changes. Here’s a great podcast on the importance of hiring a CDFA and how it can benefit you when you file for divorce.
Have Children? Evaluate the Best Path for the Kids.
If you have children, they should be at the forefront of your mind as you go through this process. Think of what the best situation would be for them, not you. Focusing on what is important and not fighting about the little things can be a real game-changer. Tip—things like personal property items typically aren’t worth fighting over. And fighting over the little things can end up adding costly legal fees in the end, and the courts don’t care.
Final Tips for Divorcing Like a Pro
Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint! You never get a second chance at your divorce, so know your options and trust your team. If you are unsure of something, ask! Take their suggestions to heart. They are in this with you to support you and aim for a favorable outcome for you both today and into the future.
If you are in Washington State and are looking for a Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, reach out. I am deeply committed to supporting people through their divorce and protecting what is commonly their largest asset. You can also connect virtually and in person with our team of divorce specialists in the Seattle area. Click here to learn about our monthly MeetUps for more support.
Above all else, be patient. Trust your gut. Your future is ahead of you and is full of possibilities! Divorce can be a positive and amicable path if you so choose.